It coming... there's no stopping it!!!

CHRISTMAS!!!

And in the spirit of the impending celebrations here is my Top Ten, and what i'll be watching over the coming weeks!!!

10. Tokyo Godfathers

9. Gremlins

8. We’re no Angels (1955)

7. Die Hard

6. The Shop Around the Corner

5. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

4. A Christmas Carol (1951) 

3. A Muppets Christmas Carol

2. It’s a Wonderful Life

1. A Christmas Story

Drogheda as a Location

I’ve shot two short films here, and honestly, I think Drogheda is a great location and a very cinematic town. 

I remember when we were finishing Emily’s Song in Screen Scene, the guy doing the blobbing (digitally removing blobs and scratches etc.) was from Drogheda. He had spent a full day starring at the screen and he didn’t realise it was Drogheda until we said so! We just did extensive location scouting a picked great place, right near the centre of town.

I love the derilict sites around town, the places I played as a kid. I’ve been photographing them recently, as you'll see from my Celluloid Journey blog I have an exhibition of that work coming up, and I always like to shoot there because one because these places play such a significant role in my life, I believe they were instrumental in building my imagination and two because now, unfortunately, they’re being leveled.

I guess it’s a good thing, it’s great to see places being regenerated and jobs created, but the child in me is very sad to see the playgrounds of my youth disappear. I’m happy to say I captured many places in my two films, so even if they’re not there in real life, they are somewhere forever.

The next two shorts I have planned will be shot here. And I would imagine my first feature will be too... and hopefully many more  there after.

Some Inspiration...

Here's an idea for a stocking filler this Christmas for the writer in you life! (Hint Hint!!!)

 

"An exclusive ten-hour box set, WORDPLAY's five DVDs offer indepth interviews from Screenwriting Expo 4, a three-day event featuring over 350 seminars, workshops, and panels on every aspect of writing for film and television.

WORDPLAY showcases an incredible selection of screenwriters, directors, producers, and actors sharing practical advice on how to break into and stay in the screenwriting trade.

A master class and a career seminar rolled into one, WORDPLAY is an entertaining and informative look at the art and business of screenwriting from the best of the best."

From creativescreenwriting.com

My Two Cents...

In a recent thread on Filmmakersnetwork.ie a less then appreciative poster became quite abusive to one of the regular posting members. This young and arrogant imbecile (probably destined to be one of those critics who seems to hate film) proceeded to insult and denigrate the work of the other poster, who was simply trying to be informative and instructive. I find this kind of negativity a complete waist of time, foolish and downright ignorant. Thankfully he was banned from posting on the site... anyway, here's was my response to the whole thing:

"Such a shame twats like that guy clog up useful threads with such imbecilic drivel... anyway, he's gone - suddenly the air smells cleaner in here. Many thanks to Jason for it.

I whole heartedly disagree with whoever it was that said only completed films should be in this section. I think it's essential that threads like this exist. 

If a young filmmaker or student logs on wanting to know how to go about shooting a no/low-budget film they need look no further. Here we have a blow by blow account, as it happens.

What the Hethwheel boys are doing is awesome and inspiring, for all of us. I love the just do it attitude. Especially as the guys have lives outside filming (not that I know them all that well) The fact that they're committed to this and making it happen, and working toward their vision, shows a level of commitment we can all be inspired by and learn from.

Film is art and everyone, bar none, has the right to create art. It's what makes us human, it's what separates us from the animals and anyone who tries to say it's wrong or stop it from coming into existence obviously has no idea what art is, and is, quite simply, ignorant.

Not all of us are going to be the next Tarintino, Speilberg or Kubrick - hell, the chances are slim that any of us will even get close the success of Lenny Abrahanson! But why should that mean we have to stop? 

We're doing this because we love film, we love everything about them... I don't have to blatther on about it, everyone here knows what I'm talking about... So we do what we do and it's not about the fame and fortune, it's not about the awards, the box office, the glory of it all (if it comes, all well and good) It's about the love of film and the need to tell a story. And as a filmmaker, some of my favourite stories are about the making of. 

Hands up here doesn't sit glued to the behind the scenes on any DVD! Who didn't watch the pre-production blogs onKing Kong? Months before it ever hit the screen. Who doesn't read empire/total film/film Ireland/sight and sound to find out about what's being made? How the shoot is going? What the sets look like? The costumes? The script? We love it, and sometimes, as was the case with me and King Kong, more than the film itself.

I'll say it again, this stuff is essential, it's nourishment, we need it to keep going, because if someone else is doing it, then it means we can do it - and what the hell ar ewe sitting around for - lets make a f***ing movie!

For that I thank the lads for this thread, and wish you all the best with your production. Break a leg lads.

Best
Frank"

Tough Nuts

The Nicholls fellowship is probably the best screenplay competition out there. Very prestigious if you get into the top 100 you're pretty much garunteed someone big is gonna wanna read your stuff. It's tough though.

BBC are great, one of the only major TV film companies still to accept unsolicited work. Again, they get thousands of scripts a year, they take months to get back to you and it's usually a standard rejection letter, although I have had notes from them before.

Both tough nuts to crack, but great website full of great advice. I would read them front to back if I were you... and probably was once, and I did just that! You'll learn alot from them.

Here's a couple of links to my own blog that might help you:
Good books.
Questions you need to ask.
Dialogue.

Just a couple of thoughts that might help.

My best piece of advice is this, don't send your script out until you're 100% happy with it. Don't send it out thinking "I really should fix that line, that character, that typo, but I just want to know what they think!" Fix it, it wont take long and you'll have no regrets or doubts, you'll know you did the best you could. That extra hour, day, week, will make all the difference.

Best of luck.

RIFIFI

I recently watched the masterpiece that is Rififi. 

An absolute gem. I loved it. Much has been written about this film. It is one of the most famous French Film Noirs. Directed by Jules Dassin, the American Director of other such Noir classics as Brute Force:

The Naked City:

Thieves' Highway:

and Night and the City:

 

Dassin was one of the black listed Hollywood directors of the fifties. He was exiled from Hollywood and moved to Europe and directed several films there. After five years of unemployment he was offered the chance to direct Rififi. Apparently it was not a film he wanted to do, he was not a fan of the book, but being in a bad situation and feeling somewhat taken advantage of he conceded to make the film. What came was one of the best Heist movies ever made.

The heist it's self is the centre piece of the movie and one of the most famous heist sequences ever committed to film. It's easy to see why. It's just incredible. Taught and tense. Beautifully thought out, brilliantly paced and the performances through out are outstanding. Not a word spoken nor music for 30 minutes and you're on the edge of you seat.

The film has a brilliant hard edge to it. It feels more raw then a lot of the hollywood film of the same period, it has an independent feel to it and so feels more more free then a lot of the studio pictures of the time.

It is a beautifully shot film, showing a misty grey Paris, with streets fading into fog in the distance. Dark and dramatic images by the legendary cinematographer Phillipe Agostini. Matched perfectly by the performance by lead actor Jean Servais. 

I can't recommend this film highly enough. Go buy it today.

An Unsung Master

I am about to settle in to a night with Sherlock Holmes, 'The Hound of the Baskervilles', with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. One of my all time favourites! 

So, with the time of year that's in it, I thought I would pay tribute to the director, one of the unsung masters of the horror genre, Terence Fisher. 

He may never be remembered in the same way Romero, Craven, Carpenter or Cronenberg (and others) will, but his contribution to british cinema and horror is outstanding. 

1957 The Curse of Frankenstein

1958 Horror of Dracula
1958 The Revenge of Frankenstein

1959 The Hound of the Baskervilles
1959 The Man Who Could Cheat Death
1959 The Mummy
1960 The Brides of Dracula
1960 The Stranglers of Bombay

1960 The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll

1961 The Curse of the Werewolf
1962 The Phantom of the Opera
1963 The Horror of It All
1964 The Gorgon
1965 The Earth Dies Screaming

1966 Dracula: Prince of Darkness
1966 Island of Terror

1967 Frankenstein Created Woman
1967 Night of the Big Heat
1968 The Devil Rides Out
1969 Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed
1974 Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell

You Tube Screening Room

Screening Room

On My Shelf

Writers' & Artists' Yearbook - A&C Black 
Filmmakers Yearbook - A&C Black 
Film Budgeting - Ralph S. Singleton 
Digital Film Making - Mike Figgis 
On Film-Making - Alexander Mackendrick 
Making Movies - Sidney Lumet 
Film Directing Shot by Shot - Steven d. Katz 
Story - Robert McKee 
Screenplay - Syd Fields 
The hero with a thousand faces - Joseph Campbell 
Eats, Shoots & Leaves - Lynne Truss 
Which Lie Did I tell - William Goldman 
The Seven Basic Plot - Christopher Booker 
Down and Dirty Pictures
Gods and Monsters
Easy Riders Raging Bulls - all by Peter Biskind 
Bambi Vs. Godzilla - David Mamet

Recommendations

When asked by someone just starting out, is there a standard camera for shorts and what book would you recommend: 

I am currently recommending this book to everyone, it is a must, and I would say perfect for someone in your situation.

Also, here's and oldy but a goldy. 

Here's another I haven't actually read, but having watched the film, the extras and the commentary on El Mariachi and being a big fan of Rodreguiz' work ethic, I would say it's a good one to get.

As for standard camera's, there are no standard cameras, only what you can afford to buy or rent and what you want the film to look like, whether it be film of digital. 

As Godard said "Show me the budget and I'll show you the film."

If I were you I might try to get a look at a few Irish shorts, see which ones you like the look of and ask the filmmakers how they achieved that look.

My Favourite Coen Brother's Movie.

There is hope... I'm always one for lining myself up against other people in terms of what they have achieved at a certin age! It's a bad thing to do, I know, but I can't help it... I'm 31, and although not old by anymeans, I did think I'd have a lot more done by now. You look at Robert Robregiuz, did El Mariachi at 23 or something, Speilberg did Jaws at 27 or there abouts! (and he'd all ready been in the business 8 years) It worries me...

But then I get to the Coens, my favourite filmmakers and I realise that they were 34 and yes 31 when they made Blood Simple and I breathe a sigh of relief and think 'Well, if they can do it...' and then I look forward to having a career that contains films like Rasing Arizona, Barton Fink, Miller's Crossing, The Hudsucker Proxy, Fargo, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou... and yes, I would happily but my hand up to the lesser The Man Who Wasn't There, Intolerable Cruelty and, -swallow- The Ladykillers... if it meant at the end of the dark years I came out with No Country For Old Men.

Just imagine being responsible for that list of films... staggering. 

My favourite? Wow! they all have so much. But my desert Island Coen Brother's movie would have to be Miller's Crossing... no wait... The Big Lebowski... no, hold on... No Country For Old Men... then again, O Brother Where Art Thou was brilliant, soggy bottom boys Hah!... Fargo... Blood Simple, one of the best low budget crime thrillers from deput filmmakers ever made... dammit!

3 pieces of advice

Film can be whatever you want it to be. That's the beauty of cinema, it's an art form and there for expressive, so you make it whatever you want to express... might be pirates chasing ghosts, a man stalked by the ghost of his dead wife on a spaceship, a body hoping alien stuck in the Antarctic with a bunch of grumpy men, or the devastation of war on an innocent boy, a group of men driving nitro-glycerin at 5 mph across a rocky mountain range... it's whatever you want it to be, whatever story you want to tell, and whatever points you want to make... and if you want to make Wedding Crashers II thats OK too.

Ps. Films broken down were Pirates of the Caribbean, Solaris, The Thing, Come and See, Wages of fear... all must sees.

----

I'd try to be a bit more methodical than trial and error. It really depends on what kind of movies you want to make, chances are, whatever they are, they will find an audience and thus be entertaining to that audience. 

What you need to do is learn you craft, if you want to be a writer, learn how to write, buy the books, the magazine, talk to other writers, swat up on it, the same if you want to direct... pretty much the same for every part of it, learn it, know it, be the best you can be at it. You'll find out along the way what works and what doesn't, largely by studying what other people are doing and what audiences are going to.

That might be a bit vague. But I will say this, make what you would want to see and make it from a truthful place, by that I mean, believe in what you're doing, no matter what it is, find the honesty in it. If you do that, the audience will too and you will find an audience.

Here's a link to a good site, check out the colums section and read all of them. They'll give you a good insight into putting successful films together.

Also, check out this place, lots of interviews with writers about their work, you'll get a good understanding of the thought process behind this stuff.

That'll get you started. Enjoy. Hope that helps.

---

No. There is a craft to filmmaking, same as there is to carpentry, there's a way of doing things, a methodology. But where as some carpenters bang up crocked timber frames on building sites, others carve exquisite pieces of handcraft furniture while others make funky modern designs. You take the rules and you bend them to make them do what you want to do. 

But if you don't first learn how to make a basic chair and understand the physics of how it works it's just gonna fall apart when you sit in it. Same with film, if you don't understand what makes them work your audience is just gonna pick out all the holes in it. 

You know yourself when a film doesn't work, you can see the plot holes, you get bored, you know when somethings not working and you feel cheated. It's because the filmmakers took a short cut, they left off on of the legs and hoped no one would notice. (OK, enough carpenter analogies! I promise)

Remember, every story has been told, there are only a few basic plots, the trick is to tell it like it's never been told before, with something unique, and that uniqueness is you and your slant on things.

Good ideas in Kids Fests

One of the better festivals I've been to was the Oberhausen Short Film fest. in Germany. I had Emily's Song in the kids section, it was great, a brilliant experience, loads of fun and I found I preferred the films... they tend to be more narrative based, rather than experimental... but that's just me... anyway! They were involved with all the schools in the area and they bused them in every morning, class loads filled the theaters, it was great. And the thing about kids, they have no problem telling you if your film sucks! Thankfully they liked ours!

Great idea.

Something else worth thinking about is making an educational thing of it, we were part of the Showcomotion film festival in England, where we picked up the UNICEF UK Award, and they made questionnaires based on our films for the kids and had discussion groups.

For example, with Emily's Song, they asked, what song would you have at a funeral and why? What would you do if a loved one stopped talking to you? How would you help your family if they were in trouble? and so on. I thought it was a great idea... I just wish I could have been there to hear the answers!

The Joys of being a writer:

1. Bad back.
2. Sore hands.
3. Tired eyes.
4. Weird hours.
5. Writers block.
6. Procrastination.
7. Rejection.
8. Frustration.
9. Insomnia.
10. Months spent on a script that you realise doesn’t work.
11. Months spent on a script only to open Empire Magazine to find Wes Anderson is making the very same film (it happened!).
12. Writing with a partner who can only write one day every two weeks, who’s always late, often cancels at the last minute when I changed my own plans to write or simply doesn’t show at all and doesn’t call.
13. Unemployment.
14. No money.
15. People close to you stop believing in you and tell you to get a real job.
16. Empty promises from producers and other filmmakers.
17. Fear of failure.
18. Obsession.
19. Paranoia 
20. Loneliness

The Perils of being a writer:

1. Joy.
2. Inspiration.
3. Satisfaction.
4. Exhileration. 
5. Education.
6. Finding a story you want to tell.
7. Finding an ending to that story.
8. Finding the characters who will tell that story.
9. Beginning a new script.
10. Realising something about your main character you weren’t aware of that make the whole story work.
11. Hearing your characters voice in your head.
12. Seeing the structure begin to work.
13. Writing a scene that works.
14. Knowing you have a great story.
15. Realising that although your writing partner is often late, unavailable and sometimes inconsiderate he has a wife, kids and job and does everything in his power and bent over backwards to write with you and he is your greatest supporter, educator, inspiration and the one who reassures you that what you’re doing makes sense and is valuable.
16. Realising you’re getting better.
17. Having people enjoy your work.
18. Hearing someone laugh out load when they read you script.
19. Typing FADE IN:
20. Typing The End.

Does your script work?

Here's 60 questions from screenwriter Terry Rossio (Shrek, Pirates of the Caribbean). If you want to sell a script or make a film that will be marketable then I think we all should ask ourselves these questions about our feature scripts. 

I just apllied it to the script I'm currently working on. It works well. Puts things in perspective. And I realised that I'm bloody brilliant and gonna make a million dollars... 

Checklist A: Concept & Plot

#1. Imagine the trailer. Is the concept marketable?

#2. Is the premise naturally intriguing -- or just average, demanding perfect execution?

#3. Who is the target audience? Would your parents go see it?

#4. Does your story deal with the most important events in the lives of your characters?

#5. If you're writing about a fantasy-come-true, turn it quickly into a nightmare-that-won't-end.

#6. Does the screenplay create questions: will he find out the truth? Did she do it? Will they fall in love? Has a strong 'need to know' hook been built into the story?

#7. Is the concept original?

#8. Is there a goal? Is there pacing? Does it build?

#9. Begin with a punch, end with a flurry.

#10. Is it funny, scary, or thrilling? All three?

#11. What does the story have that the audience can't get from real life?

#12. What's at stake? Life and death situations are the most dramatic. Does the concept create the potential for the characters lives to be changed?

#13. What are the obstacles? Is there a sufficient challenge for our heroes?

#14. What is the screenplay trying to say, and is it worth trying to say it?

#15. Does the story transport the audience?

#16. Is the screenplay predictable? There should be surprises and reversals within the major plot, and also within individual scenes.

#17. Once the parameters of the film's reality are established, they must not be violated. Limitations call for interesting solutions.

#18. Is there a decisive, inevitable, set-up ending that is nonetheless unexpected? (This is not easy to do!)

#19. Is it believable? Realistic?

#20. Is there a strong emotion -- heart -- at the center of the story? Avoid mean-spirited storylines.


Checklist B: Technical Execution

#21. Is it properly formatted?

#22. Proper spelling and punctuation. Sentence fragments okay.

#23. Is there a discernible three-act structure?

#24. Are all scenes needed? No scenes off the spine, they will die on screen.

#25. Screenplay descriptions should direct the reader's mind's eye, not the director's camera.

#26. Begin the screenplay as far into the story as possible.

#27. Begin a scene as late as possible, end it as early as possible. A screenplay is like a piece of string that you can cut up and tie together -- the trick is to tell the entire story using as little string as possible.

#28. In other words: Use cuts.

#29. Visual, Aural, Verbal -- in that order. The expression of someone who has just been shot is best; the sound of the bullet slamming into him is second best; the person saying, "I've been shot" is only third best.

#30. What is the hook, the inciting incident? You've got ten pages (or ten minutes) to grab an audience.

#31. Allude to the essential points two or even three times. Or hit the key point very hard. Don't be obtuse.

#32. Repetition of locale. It helps to establish the atmosphere of film, and allows audience to 'get comfortable.' Saves money during production.

#33. Repetition and echoes can be used to tag secondary characters. Dangerous technique to use with leads.

#34. Not all scenes have to run five pages of dialogue and/or action. In a good screenplay, there are lots of two-inch scenes. Sequences build pace.

#35. Small details add reality. Has the subject matter been thoroughly researched?

#36. Every single line must either advance the plot, get a laugh, reveal a character trait, or do a combination of two -- or in the best case, all three -- at once.

#37. No false plot points; no backtracking. It's dangerous to mislead an audience; they will feel cheated if important actions are taken based on information that has not been provided, or turns out to be false.

#38. Silent solution; tell your story with pictures.

#39. No more than 125 pages, no less than 110... or the first impression will be of a script that 'needs to be cut' or 'needs to be fleshed out.'

#40. Don't number the scenes of a selling script. MOREs and CONTINUEDs are optional.


Checklist C: Characters

#41. Are the parts castable? Does the film have roles that stars will want to play?

#42. Action and humor should emanate from the characters, and not just thrown in for the sake of a laugh. Comedy which violates the integrity of the characters or oversteps the reality-world of the film may get a laugh, but it will ultimately unravel the picture. Don't break the fourth wall, no matter how tempting.

#43. Audiences want to see characters who care deeply about something -- especially other characters.

#44. Is there one scene where the emotional conflict of the main character comes to a crisis point?

#45. A character's entrance should be indicative of the character's traits. First impression of a character is most important.

#46. Lead characters must be sympathetic -- people we care about and want to root for.

#47. What are the characters wants and needs? What is the lead character's dramatic need? Needs should be strong, definite -- and clearly communicated to the audience.

#48. What does the audience want for the characters? It's all right to be either for or against a particular character -- the only unacceptable emotion is indifference.

#49. Concerning characters and action: a person is what he does, not necessarily what he says.

#50. On character faults: characters should be 'this but also that;' complex. Characters with doubts and faults are more believable, and more interesting. Heroes who have done wrong and villains with noble motives are better than characters who are straight black and white.

#51. Characters can be understood in terms of, 'what is their greatest fear?' Gittes, in CHINATOWN was afraid of being played for the fool. In SPLASH the Tom Hanks character was afraid he could never fall in love. In BODY HEAT Racine was afraid he'd never make his big score.

#52. Character traits should be independent of the character's role. A banker who fiddles with his gold watch is memorable, but cliche; a banker who breeds dogs is a somehow more acceptable detail.

#53. Character conflicts should be both internal and external. Characters should struggle with themselves, and with others.

#54. Character 'points of view' need to be distinctive within an individual screenplay. Characters should not all think the same. Each character needs to have a definite point of view in order to act, and not just react.

#55. Distinguish characters by their speech patterns: word choice, sentence patterns; revealed background, level of intelligence.

#56. 'Character superior' sequences (where the character acts on information the audience does not have) usually don't work for very long -- the audience gets lost. On the other hand, when the audience is in a 'superior' position -- the audience knows something that the characters do not -- it almost always works. (NOTE: This does not mean the audience should be able to predict the plot!)

#57. Run each character through as many emotions as possible -- love, hate, laugh, cry, revenge.

#58. Characters must change. What is the character's arc?

#59. The reality of the screenplay world is defined by what the reader knows of it, and the reader gains that knowledge from the characters. Unrealistic character actions imply an unrealistic world; fully-designed characters convey the sense of a realistic world.

#60. Is the lead involved with the story throughout? Does he control the outcome of the story?

Word Player

Hi guys,

Here's a site I came across I thought I'd share - www.wordplayer.com - seems interesting. It was set up by famed and acclaimed writers Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, writers of Shrek and Pirates of the Caribbean... OK I know, they also wrote the terrible sequels to those movies, but hey, they're successful, accomplished and they can write bloody good scripts when they want to, so they must know a thing or two... anyway, check out the site, judge for yourself. The 'Columns' sections seems to have some interesting essays. 

Enjoy

A Must

I'm currently reading the book, Digital Film-Making by Mike Figgis. I have to say I haven't seen much of his work, except for Leaving Las Vegas, but this book is really good. It's basically a book of advice for low budget digital filmmaking. Lots of simple, practical advice. 

It's a book I very much would have like to have read four years ago! But it's going to come in handy for up coming shoots. So far I've read some simple tips on preparation, budgeting and financing. 

It's only 150 pages long, fits in your back pocket, I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone starting out, and I will continue to do so. Much impressed so far.

Dust to Dust

Near Dark is a beautiful, soulful, poetic genre mix of a modern western and truly great vampire story, about two star-crossed lovers in a love story that is only surpassed by Romeo and Juliet. 

I really can't imagine they'll keep all that. Chances are it'll turn out to be a western horror actioner, which would be great if it didn't happen to be a remake of one of the best films of the eighties.

I guess we have to wait an see...

Another one bites the dust!

Screenplay competitions.

Hi guys,

I came across this link:http://www.moviebytes.com/directory.cfm and thought it might be useful or of interest. It's basically a well recommended directory (I picked it up in Script, the final draft magazine) for good comps. Might be worth a look. 

Anyway, enjoy.

Notable French Horror Movies:

The House of the Devil (1896)
I Accuse (1919)
The Fall of the House of Usher (1928)
Un Chien Andalou (An Andalusian Dog) (1929)
I Accuse (1938)
La Main du Diable (Carnival of Sinners) (1943)
Beauty and the Beast (1946)
Diabolique (1955)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1956)
Les Louves (Demoniac) (1958)
Blood and Roses (1960)
Eyes Without a Face (1960)
The Hands of Orloc (1960)
The Rape of the Vampire (1967)
Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971)
Man With the Transplanted Brain (1971)
Shock Treatment (1973)
The Tenant (1976)
Grapes of Death (1978)
Zombie Lake (1981)
The Living Dead Girl (1982)
Frankenstein 90 (1984)
Baby Blood (1990)
Deep in the Woods (2000)
Six-Pack (2000)
With a Friend Like Harry... (2000)
Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
Requiem (2001)
Trouble Every Day (2001)
Bloody Mallory (2002)
In My Skin (2002)
Maléfique (2002)
High Tension (2003)
Saint Ange (2004)
They Came Back (2004)
Caché (2005)
Sheitan (2006)
Them (2006)
Eden Log (2007)
Frontier(s) (2007)
Inside (2007)

The Treatment

Here's a great podcast for those who don't know about it. KCRW's The Treatment with Elvis Mitchell. 

I've been listening to it weekly for about 2 and half years now. Always interesting, always informative. Some great interviews with the main players and heavy hitters in the industry.

For Writers... essential listening

If you dont know about this then sign up today, it's a great 

http://feeds.feedburner.com/creative...ritingmagazine

Hour long interviews with writers on major and minor new releases every week.

Writing Good Dialogue

I do have the benefit though of writing most of my scripts with a writing partner, so we bounce stuff back and forward. The stuff I do on my own though I do find that it's got easier and comes quicker now. Just keep writing. 

Some of the best dialogue and character repartee:
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Newman and Reford at their best)
Princess Bride (The poison chalice scene is breathtaking!)
All the Presidents Men (Your on the edge of your seat the entire time and Reford and Hoffman play it brilliantly)
Some Like it Hot (the sharpest of Wilder and Diamond's scripts, and that's saying something)
His Girl Friday (This shows why no one has come close to Carey Grant for comic timing)
Rear Window (The early conversations between Jimmy Stewart and Thelma Ritter are gold)
...

There's more, sure there is! But it's late and my brain is shutting down! Anyone else got more great dialogue movies?

PS.

For more naturalistic Dialogue I guess you'd have to go with Mike Liegh, but there again, that's something that comes out of rehearsal and allowing the actors to find the characters and letting the character speak in any given situation... that why it's important to make sure you have well developed and well written characters, if you can do that, they'll do the talking for you.

2008

It's been an interesting couple of years, I wish I could say I have achieved all my goals, most of which I set out 2 years ago and for a one year plan, but of course they bled into this year.

In bullet point:

• Write a new feature script.
• Produce a new music video.
• Produce at least two new short films.
• Promote those films.
• Find an agent.
• Secure Financial backing for a Feature.
• Develop a TV show.
• Begin building a working studio for likeminded filmmakers.

Well, I got someways along the way. Of course not everything goes as planned does it?!

• I wrote three new feature scripts, development on going.
• I found out that I did not like working with rock bands and vowed never to make another music video.
• Made one short for no money which I was happy with and has now been accepted into a fest in the US. And I am promoting another with Jason Byrne. And Developing a third which I hope to shoot in the coming months.
• No agent yet.
• Got backing for one feature, but fell through. So no financial backing as yet for feature, but the next best thing, a crew chomping at the bit to shoot. So plans are rolling for shooting next year.
• Developed TV show, found a production comapny to make it and interest from RTE, only to have the plug pulled at the last minute.
• I have started the business plan for the studio.

Other unlisted things that have happened:
Started two new feature scripts, which makes a total of Five in the last two years. I'm also developing two more TV show ideas, the pilot of one I hope to shoot in the winter. I started work on a comic book. I'm also planning an exhibition of my photography later in the year. I screened my shorts at Electric picnic and Emily's Song continues to screen at festivals around the world. And I'm getting married next month!

So I would say it's been a good year... I'm still bloody broke though!!!

For your viewing pleasure

Try:
T-Men
He Walked by Night
Raw Deal (Not the Arnie one)
The Big Combo
The Blue Dahlia 
The Glass Key
Out of the Past
Asphalt Jungle
Laura
The Killing 
Murder, my Sweet (aka: Farewell my lovely)

All stunning stunning films, brilliantly directed, played, wonderfully crafted films. Noir is all about style and these are among the most stylish of this incredible genre.

If you find it a little hard to appreciate what you might perceive as being dated or something, think about modern noir and films today that you may like that are directly influence by noir and work you way back from there.

Most of the Coen's:
Blood Simple
The Big Lebowski
Millers Crossing
Fargo
No Country For Old Men

Also:
A History of Violence
Memento
Grifters
Reservoir Dogs
Blade Runner
LA Confidential
The Usual Suspects
The Dark Night

Noir is usually centered around an unreliable narrator or a character with a tragic flaw that will eventually snowball into something catastrophic. If you learn to appreciate this genre it is one of the most fascinating and exciting genres within cinema and there is a wealth of amazing films there to be discovered.

Enjoy

2nd to Best DVD Extras

I always thought that would be a cool idea, having the option of watching the commentary with picture in picture or something... especially on Shaun of the Dead with the actors were they seem to be more concerned with drinking tea and wine and eating cakes! Funny! 

I should have mentioned the Thing too! One of my favourite movies. I love the Commentary with Carpenter and Russell, Carpenter smokes and rasps his way through and russell just laughs. Great extras, you really get to appreciate the production design, which is still among the best I've seen. And I love the story about the Wolf.

I liked Kevin Smiths lecture DVD, forget the name, not an extra either, but it's funny, especially his stories about Prince (Very strange) and the producer of Superman who has this thing about Spiders!

Someone mentioned the Batman Begins disc, that was very disappointing and I was sure there would be a Special Addition at some stage. But alas no, just went into the bargain bins. Shame. 

Some more cool ones

This is England:
A cool look into the method of the Indy Genius that is Shane Meadows.

Lost in Translation:
Access all areas Documentary for another low budget guerilla style shoot.

Reseveoir Dogs (Special Addition):
Great interviews with the cast. Fascinating insights and anecdotes. Cool look at the preproduction. Tarantino gives a great recount of his disastrous Sundance screenings and there's a great Documentary about Film Noir.

Spirirted Away:
All the ghibli films come with a storyboard comparison, which is great because they're drawn be Myazaki himself. But this has a nice documentary and a look inside Studio Ghibli, the greatest animation studio in the world, which is a surprisingly small and unstated place.

The Dark Crystal:
Fascinating behind the scenes Documentary and look at a true Genius at work, Jim Henson.

The Best DVD Extras

I’m talking about the best, most insightful, most educating, most revealing, most entertaining… even those extras we enjoyed more than the movies themselves!

My list – in no particular order:

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: 
Jam-packed with great stuff relating to all of the above. As a once animation student and someone who loves drawing it was wonderful to see so much of the concept work.

King Kong:
Here’s a film I was not that hot on, but really liked the extras, I watched the weekly blogs as it was being made and bought the dvd, I’ve watched to film 1 and half times, but I’ve watched to extras about ten times!

Frightners (Special 3 disc addition):
Where Peter Jackson begun his foray into extras and what a great job he did. I love the outtakes of Michael J Fox shouting “Doc!” and the script read throughs where he filmed the floor, just to get an audio recording (Never thought to put the camera up so we could see faces!)

Hellboy:
3 hour behind the scenes of every stage of production. 

Matchstick Men:
Again, a film I did not like, but the documentary on the extras was great, very insightful and an amazing look at how Ridley Scott works.

Twelve Monkeys:
The Hamster Effect is an amazing film documentary.

The Adventure of Baron Munchausen (Special Addition):
Another brilliant documentary that clears up a lot of the rumours surrounding this legendary and disastrous shoot.

The Desperado Trilogy (Box Set):
The three desperado films by Robert Rodriguez, especially El Mariachi. He’s commentaries are very insightful as well. I also like his ‘Look inside Troublemaker Studios” every filmmakers dream, the guy has it sorted. And his ten-minute cooking schools are fun! I think a must for any young filmmaker.

Sin City (Special Addition):
More Rodriguez, more great advice. The guy has a “Can do anything” attitude that is very inspiring.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind:
George Clooney’s directorial Debut. Mind boggling switch-a-roos here as sets are changed before our very eyes and right under the camera’s nose. Impressive stuff.

Brazil:
Another look into the labyrinthine mind of Terry Gilliam. Brilliant skit with Michael Palin.

Singing in the Rain & Robin Hood (Special Additions):
Great documentaries on the old Hollywood studio system.

That’s all for now!

---

Just as an aside on the best behind the scenes Documentaries as stand alones:

The Kid Stays in the Picture: 
The fascinating, often hilarious, self narrated story of Bob Evans. 

The Celluloid Closet:
A look at the hidden Homosexuality in Cinema.

Visions of Light:
A talking heads docu on the world of some the most legendary cinematographers in Hollywood.

Overnight:
An absolute must-see for any film student, this how NOT to make it in the business. A fascinating documentary on the rise and fall of one of the most obnoxious people you’re ever likely to see on screen. It’s cringeworthy view, I’ve never wanted to dive behind the couch so many times in one sitting, but you cannot look away as this guy gets the opportunity, no, gets TWO opportunities of a lifetime and systematically brings about his own down fall as his ego inflates to the size of the moon.

Easy Riders Raging Bulls:
Another talking heads docu, with some rare footage, of the rise of the new Hollywood crew, Scorses, Speilberg, Coppolla, DePalma et al.

What are your best extras?

I Love a good questionaire!

When you begin a project who are you making the film for?
Me. The audience in my head. And me mammy!

Are you targeting the top festivals-distributors?
Not targeting them. No. But I will enter the festivals and I will approach the distributors. 

Do you have a marketing plan from the on-set or do you deal with this in post?
No. I'm out to tell a story and I try to tell it as honestly as possible. I'm hoping it will connect with people. I'll leave the marketing up to the pros!

Is it awards your after?
No. 

If 10k was given to you to produce a short how high do you regard at least breaking even on it whether it be from private investment or public money?
I spent €25k on a short and so far I've only €1.5k back, so no, I'm not worried about the money. Shorts don't make money generally, unless it's something really popular that sells to a lot of countries.

Do you target an intended audience?
I think about the story and the characters and when it's done I let it find it's own audience.

How much are the paying punter (audience) in your mindset from the beginning?
Not really. It happens later. At first I'm trying to connect with the story and the characters and find my way into the story. Once I'm in there I'm kinda like the pied piper, I can lead others in.

Do you make films focused entirely on it's artistic merits?
It's all about story and honesty for me. I do believe cinema is an art form and I do put a lot of thought into how it's going to look. I'm not out to make a buck. I wouldn't want to be the next Michael Bay if you promised me all the money he has!

Is dealing in entertainment an artform? ie that ability to stun an audience, make them laugh etc, through the medium?
Is entertainment an art form? No. It's entertainment. You can have art that is entertaining.

Do you rely solely on funding or have you gone out an independantly done work?
I'm afraid I've gone down the independent route and I have the bank balance to prove it!!! But I expect that will change soon.

My Worst Screening

You're right, there's nothing quite like it. I've experienced a few times now and it's always exciting, nerve wrecking and a strange experience. You're at the stage where you've seen the film 100 times through the editing process and screening it to family and friends and watching it yourself. Then comes the big day, the first big screen public screening! There is something magical about it. That screen does something you can't describe, something inside you.

My first screening went off without a hitch. The theatre was packed, we had a five minute standing ovation and everyone came up smiling and congratulating us, shaking or hands and full of adulation. Amazing feeling. 

The second screening was another story! 

Our first festival was Moondance in LA. Seeing as I have friends there I decided to go with my film partner. We were buzzing. According to the website this was supposed to be the american cannes, they compared themselves to Sundance, there was a list of 20 famous actors and directors all of whom were attending. 

It was held in Raliegh Studios in Hollywood, a nice little studio that Charlie Chaplin establish. Walking through the gates we though, this is it, we've arrived. Until we found were it was. One tent. Out the back. Three screens, nice though they were. A hand full of people, all of whom were too occupied to even greet us, even though we had flown from Ireland. No famous people attending at all. We thought we would at least have a festival pass, which is standard when you have a film at a festival, no, we had to pay, we actually had to pay in to our own screening.

We went to the opening party which was in a club in hollywood. Maybe this would be cool. For starters the doorman wouldn't let us in because he never heard of the moondance film festival. 

Eventually we did get in, to a dark room up stairs, with a very expensive bar and a buffet, which consisted of 4 pizzas, two bowls of chicken wing, some doritos and dip!

We got talking to some filmmakers who felt bad for us because we had come all the way from Ireland for this. We just felt stupid.

Then the night of the screening... it gets better.

We arrive all dolled up. There's a big crowd outside. Everyone's drinking, laugh, hob-nobbing. I start to feel the butterflies in my stomach. Our screening is tonight, they must be here to see it. So we go up. 

It took us ten minutes to find the film because the had changed screens at the last minute without telling us, when we asked the oganiser she had no idea where it was. We eventually find it and walked into an empty theatre half way through the first short. The only people there are me and Tom, a friend and the two filmmakers of the first film. So it goes.

I figure maybe everyone else is lost too? No. No one else comes in.

Then our film comes on. I think OK, I'll enjoy it on the big screen, hey, we're screening in Charlie Chaplin screening room, that's pretty f***ing sweet. It's awful. It's in 4:3 when it should be in 16:9. The colour is way down, it's almost black. The thousands we spent on grading, gone. The sound is really bad. Then the projectionist pulls up the menu screen on the projector and starts playing with the contrast. I mean, right in the middle of the film the entire picture is covered with a menu screen and his changing the colours, a full minute he's doing this. Then he stops, it looks no better. 

The film continues. We get to a crucial part of the story and he start to mess with the aspect ratio! And then decides to try the colour again. up pops the menu screen. I almost cried.

We were going to attend the award ceremony... until the told us we had to pay $50 in! I never heard of a nominated filmmaker having to pay into the award ceremony! We said no thanks and left.

It was, without a doubt, the worst screening experience I have ever had. Be warned, avoid avoid avoid Moondance. 

But that was the worst, everything after that was great. I had a great time at the Heartland film festival. Great fest, limos for the filmmakers, top class hotel, flight paid for, pass for everything, cash prize, trophy, and a hell of a night at a hug gala event... I also met my fiancé there!

Oberhausen too did a great job, it was the best I ever saw my film, the colours just popped. I almost cried then too... but a good cry.

side bar: One quick and easy way of seeing how your script reads is read it aloud and record yourself (on garage band or sound forge or a dictaphone) and then sit quietly somewhere stick on the headphones and play it back. It works well. Probably not as effective as work-shopping, but I found it helps, you hear repetition quickly and hear what dialogue is clunky. Put the script in front of you and get your red pen out as you do it, you'll find you'll be editing quick enough.

Just a thought.

My Advice

Maybe you’ve already made up your mind as to what you’re going to do, maybe you’ve got all the advice you need and some you don’t, but I thought I’d throw my 2cents in.

First of, I appreciate your rant, God knows I’ve had a few of my own over the years and written about them too. I’m lucky though, I have writer friends, people in the same boat as me and people much more successful and further on down the road then me, so I have a support group as such.

My advice, simple, keep writing, never stop writing. You’re a writer. What you do to make ends meet, which is something we all have to do because we live in the real world, is not what or who you are. That’s just a job. You are a writer. You know you are without me saying it, because it’s something that burns inside you, it’s a passion. You have ideas all the time. You get excited when you think of the ending for a new story, even more excited when the ending arrives before the beginning and you just have to get to it! 

You love writing, you love sitting in a room by yourself with your computer or pad or typewriter and letting the ideas come to you. Nothing gives you greater pleasure. If all this is true then keep writing. 

I’ve been writing for about ten years now, every day, I carry a notebook where ever I go and I write whatever comes into my head. I’ve a stack of the bloody things. When people ask: what would you take from a burning building? I say my notebooks, although I’d have to make at least four trips!

I’ve written about ten or more short scripts, four or five ideas for TV shows, several ideas for novels and comic book and about nine completed feature screenplays, the first six of which were crap! But they last three haven’t been bad. 
Two of the shorts have been produced so far. I have interest on the last two feature scripts and the latest TV show idea. It’s taken a bloody long time, a lot of rants, quit jobs, returning to jobs, more rants and more quit jobs to get here. Now things are starting to happen it feels worth it. Even though it didn’t at the time I now know that I needed that time. I had to learn my craft.

Keep writing. Don’t worry about writing one thing and putting all your hope and faith in that script. Send it out sure, but start on the next one straight away. The more you write the better you’ll become. The more you write now the closer you’ll be to the good stuff, the stuff people put money into. And none of the stuff you’re doing now will be lost. You may feel if you leave it in a drawer it was a waist. I promise you’ll come back to it, whether you decide to do rewrite or whether you borrow scenes from it.

A friend of mine had the opportunity once to meet and talk with David Keopp (Jurassic Park, Carlito’s Way, Mission Impossible, Stir of Echoes, Spider-Man etc.) He was 24 at the time and Keopp asked how many screenplays had he written? He answered; 2, which he was very proud of. Keopp said he should be on his 8th by now. So he duely went home and started writing. It wasn’t long after that he came up with his first TV show idea, which evetually became ‘Psychos’ and soon after came ‘Spooks’. Moral of the story, keep writing. The good stuff will come.

Don’t let the rejection get you down. They say if you’re not get a rejection letter every day then you’re not sending it to enough people! Tongue in cheek sure, but I made a promise to myself a while back, every time I got a rejection letter, no matter how crap it made me feel I would, that moment, send another script out, or another email to a producer or agent, just to do something constructive, just to let myself know that I wasn’t letting the bastards get me down.

Just remember that rejections are not a reflection of your work. When you apply for money through these things your script gets read by another writer, or a wannabe writer, who hasn’t been able to get their own stuff produced so the get a job as a reader. I’ve got so many notes from these people and all they tell me is that - it’s not the way they would write it – of course it isn’t, their not me!

Look mate, it’s hard, harder then we expect and harder then anyone can ever say and maybe for a lot of people it’s not worth, maybe some are destined never to make it, but we have to try. 

Anyway, hope some of that made sense. I wish you all the best with your work. Let me know how you get on and when your first film goes into production. I look forward to seeing it.

Best
Frank

ps. write from the heart... not for the budget! Let the producer worry about that!

Luxurious Filmmaking

I came across an article I thought some of you would enjoy and relate to. It is something of an ethos to work by for low/no budget filmmakers.

Cinema is not a luxury
Pedro Costa describes his low-budget ethos to Kieron Corless

“I now shoot on video, which is very cheap, so it’s very simple for me to make a budget. All I need is enough money just to live every month, me and three or four friend: one for the sound, on to help me with the camera, another to assist me – and the actors of course. We always try to have a balance or harmony, all being paid more or less the same. I want to show that cinema is not a luxury, it’s not just for very rich and glamorous people.

The people I work with understand that. But at the same time it’s hard work every day, like building a house as Ventura says. But it’s something that still has a relation to the real world, which I didn’t find in the films I assisted on, even some films I made with conventional crews. There was too fiction behind the camera, and not enough in front. There were too many games being played behind the camera, and in front of the camera there was a mess.

It took me a long time to find a balance between what happens behind and in front of the camera – I’m talking about human relationship, about politics, about how the money is distributed, how you have to behave every day. For me it’s more about that then the artistc work. There’s a piece of paper here on the wall in my house; it’s a quite by Brecht and it says that the organisation took us much more time and energy than the artistic work. If you can make the organisation fair, simple and human, I think that the film will find its way, its shots, its heart.”

Sight & Sound
June 08

__________________

His Girl Friday

Yup, the whole film. Howard Hawks, Cary Grant, Roslyn Russell at their best. Sit back and enjoy. (it's slightly out of sync for a couple of minutes, but stick with it, it sorts itself out.)

Anything Goes...

I saw a young boy on TV today who has set up a club called the "No Cussing Club." He has started a campaign to stop swearing, or cussing, or cursing or whatever you want to call it. I was deeply worried I must say. I love swearing. I love swear words. I love the ability to express so much emotion in a single word.

Swearing is invigorating, satisfying, no other words can relieve stress or sum up emotion so clearly and quickly. It brings colour to language. A swear word brightens up a sentence. It adds electricity to it and sets it alit.

In Ireland of course swearing is inherent in the language. Take a walk over any main street in any town and tune in to the conversations as you pass, a ballet of colourful expressions dance like song across the lips of people in a lyrical discourse - Fuck this Fuck that Fuck you Fuck me.

Some would say that swearing is the sign of a poor vocabulary. As a writer and someone who celebrates words, the structure of sentences and language itself, I whole heartedly would disagree. Swearing is an exploration into how expressive language can really be. It would sadden me not to be able to do it.

Here's a much more intelligent and well-read man than I on the subject: Stephen Fry.

Somers Town

The new film from writer director Shane Meadows is Somers Town.

Two of the best films in recent years for me have been Dead Man's Shoes and This Is England. And with films like Twenty Four Seven and A Room For Romeo Brass there is a body of work there that has proven Meadows as one of the most important independent directors working today.

His films look deep into the human soul, showing that even at the most mundane level powerful stories of friendship, loyalty, regret, loss and love can be found and celebrated.

I'm really excited about this film.

Here's a nice selection of stills from the movie too.

Notes...

"Hey, We love your script and we think you're a great writer. We'd love for you to write something for us..."



...and so it goes.

THE DARK KNIGHT

Believe the hype.

--

This is the film of the year.

Easily the best of the Batman films.

--

Arguably Nolan's best film.

One of the best superhero movies ever made.

--

And an excellent crime thriller.

If you haven't seen this film yet, go see it, today.

A Poem I Wrote Today

The Tale of Ansen Abermire and the Great Sea Monster

by Frank Kelly

There was a young fisherman called Ansen Abermire
who rowed from Galway bay
To fish the current from point to point
To cast his net all day

But many said beyond the Arans
a sea monster lay in wait
For foolish young men like Ansen Abermire
with death it kept a date

But not one for myth, legend nor tale
away he went away
Beyond the bay and the Aran Isles
to fish the Atlantic Spray

But the fishing was light to be sure to be sure
and not a morsel bit
The day dragged and dragged and dragged
and so young Ansen quit

He turned his boat round about
to pull in his final net
But something caught and tugged and fought
and held fast where they met

A whale pray not or shark much worse
for fear his net would mar
A school much better of silver salmon
or perhaps a healthy carp

But instead what rose from the dark waters
Was something much worse then that
A head the size of his boat plus two
and a mouth with hunger spat

Down it came down and down
A terrible hideous sight
Crashing and smashing and chomping it came
Down on Ansen to bite

Swallowed whole swallowed he was
A man in deepest peril
And down he went to the creature stomach
deep inside the devil

He struggled and pushed and wriggled inside
but nothing he did could turn the tied
The end was close he could see it near
He should have listened it was clear

Dark it was, inside the monster
no light nor sound nor breath
Pushed he was, washed a sunder
to meet his unhappy death

Finally he stopped against a wall
of flesh and warm wet slim
he felt around for some way out
but nothing came no sign

Then a movement he did not expect
the walls seemed to give way
an opening that was not there before
a way for him away

But no door opened on to light
instead the floor divided
His feet tried for purchase but slipped
and down Abermire glided

He seemed to fall for an age
A vast space within
and then a stench like nothing before
came up to greet him

He choked and coughed and spat a fuss
but nothing he did could chase the must
of fish and flesh and damp sweet rot
waiting to bed him in his new cot

And land he did among the corpses
of whales and sharks and half eaten orcas
Bones and skin and flesh all around
some living some dead but all bound
To the fate of one swallowed whole
by the great sea monster beyond Galway shore

Then he remembered his trusty knife
and into his pocket he reached
He pulled it out and withdrew the blade
and stabbed to cut a breach

But nothing happened that he could see
no mark was left inside
all that Ansen seemed to do
was make the monster annoyed

A belch a burp a convulsion came
and green acid began to rise
Whales and sharks and fish disolved
They were being digested alive

And so for fear of never being rescued
out his knife he took
Better than slowly being digested
Into his wrists he cut

The blood poured warm and fast
and slowly his life did ebb
sadly the final net he cast
was the one that left him dead

And then he saw the strangest thing
a light off in the distance
God perhaps or angels come
to deliver him home this instance

but no it was a hand instead
come reached down within
and pulled Ansen Abermire
to safety on the deck of kin

He looked around and saw a crew
of twenty men or more
the finest fisherman ever known
to leave Galway shore

For years they sailed and sought and hunted
for the great sea monster slain
and here today day finally
their voyage was not in veign

But alas it was all to late
for poor Ansen Abermire
He had cut too deep and lost too much
in the dark in the mire

and so he left this mortal plain
to cast his nets away
far from Galway and the Aran isles
beyond the Atlantic Spray

The End.

Inspiration

I thought I'd put this video up. Guillermo Del Toro is one of my favourite filmmakers and Pan's Labyrinth is probably my favourite of his films. Here he talks with Alfonso Cauron and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu about Pan's Labyrinth, Children of Men and Babel, three films these three Mexican directors and friends made at the same time. It's really interesting. So if you have an hour, brew some coffee, sit back and enjoy.

A good start

At last I have joined the ranks of JK Rowling, Neil Gaimen, Nick Hornby and Tom Stopard as a published author... well, it's not all that really... you may have heard of the "What's your story?" competition Waterstones is running, if not, you may have heard that JK Rowling sold a short story for £25,000 not so long ago, well, it was part of this competition. Anyway, I was shortlisted.

So I thought I would post the story here for your reading pleasure. It's called 'The Perfect Word'. It began it's life as a short screenplay, which I always thought was a bit too ambitious ever to be filmed, at least in Ireland. But I always thought it'd be something the Henson Company would like! It has lots of puppet you see.

However I condensed it to it's essence to get it onto one page... anyway, see what you think. Enjoy.

The Perfect Word
by
Frank Kelly

Once upon a time there was a young man who loved a fair maiden. She was the most beautiful maiden in all the land. So beautiful was she that everyone in the village, men and women alike, would line up outside her door everyday to ask for her hand in marriage. But her answer was always the same:
“No, not you.”
The young man watched from his cabin day after day, listening to the fools and their proposals, watching as they presented her with elaborate gifts like birds, cows and cabbages. But her answer was always the same:
“No, not you.”
One day a prince rode into town on a horse. He skipped the queue as princes often do and jump from his steed to one knee and held out a monstrous dazzler of a ring.
“You are the most beautiful maiden in all the land. With beauty so luminous it dulls the sun. I will give thee my kingdom if you will only be mine.”
“No, not you.” The gathered crowd drew a collective sigh and the prince rode on, a broken man.
The young man wondered why she had said no to all that wealth and power. The prince had promised so much and said such wonderful things… and then it hit him... She had not heard the right words. He would find them and with them make her his wife.
With a quill in one hand and his head in the other he began. All night he paced and pondered and poured over parchment. But no words came. He wrote about the sun, the moon and the stars, the birds and bees, the flutter of his heart and the whisper of the wind. But such words dulled compared to her beauty.
“I must find the perfect word,” he announced to the bugs and bats in his cabin and with great determination he set out into the unknown world to find the perfect word.
Along his journey he discovered France and Australia. He named oceans. He pointed Columbus west. He told Galileo to look up and Newton to look down. But he could not find the words to describe how he felt about the fair maiden who lived in his thoughts and haunted his dreams.
But after two years of searching his journey had came to an end at the world’s edge. He could go no further and so gave up and turned back.
The weary, sun bleach suitors still stood by the fair maidens door. As he walked by her cabin the door opened and she stepped out. He saw that she looked tired and pale. She looked at the first in line.
“No, not you,” she said with a sigh. As the young man walked by he looked at her and she looked back.
“Hello,” he said and walked on.
“You,” she said. The man stopped and turned and looked at her.
“You,” she said again.
“Me?” he said.
“Yes you,” said the fair maiden and ran toward him. She threw her arms around him and kissed him.
“I’ve been waiting for you to say hello to me for as long as I can remember.”

“Hello?”